To restore fairness and equity in the program

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Roundhouse

Senior Member
Bengali
The following sentences are mine. I am wondering if using separate sentences (the way they are now) connects the two orange sentences to the green introductory clause. I want it to do that.

To restore fairness and equity in the program, a single national entrance requirement needs to be established. Benefit durations need to be revised to a single range that should only vary with employment history. And there should be a single invariable benefit calculation formula for all workers, and it should not be linked to the unemployment rate.

To do X, it is a must that B be done. C needs to be changed. And there should be a revised D.
 
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  • lingobingo

    Senior Member
    English - England
    I see no problems at all with that text, but would suggest that the final and [it] be replaced by a relative pronoun.
     

    lingobingo

    Senior Member
    English - England
    That’s for you to decide, I’m afraid (we’re not allowed to “proofread”). I just thought that those two “ands” jar a bit so it would read more smoothly with one of them removed. :)
     

    Roundhouse

    Senior Member
    Bengali
    That’s for you to decide, I’m afraid (we’re not allowed to “proofread”). I just thought that those two “ands” jar a bit so it would read more smoothly with one of them removed. :)
    Sorry lingobingo, I was actually asking if you meant "which/that" and not which should I pick. Thanks for pointing that out though.
     
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