twelve angle star

quietdandelion

Banned
Formosa/Chinese
The following is our national flag, and I want to introduce it to a foreign friend. But I'm not sure if I describe it right: The flag is composed of three parts; the first is the twelve pointed angle star, which is the symbol of the sun; around the white sun is the blue rectangle, which is symbolic of the sky; the red part refers to the red ground, which is covered with our anscestors' blood.Because of their struggle and sacrifice, we are a free country now--we're proudly living on the red land, under the blue sky, and facing the sun.
Correct me if there is anything wrong. Thanks.


 
  • panjandrum

    Lapsed Moderator
    English-Ireland (top end)
    The flag is composed of three parts;
    colon, not semicolon - but even better, make your description a series of logically connected short sentences.

    the first is the twelve pointed angle star, which is the symbol of the sun;
    I suggest a, not the. The suggests that you have already told your friend about this star.
    Angle is not necessary.
    Which is is correct, but better omitted.

    around the white sun is the blue rectangle, which is symbolic of the sky;
    As before, a would be better than the.
    As before which is could be omitted.

    the red part refers to the red ground, which is covered with our anscestors' blood.
    Again, which is could be omitted.
    Because of their struggle and sacrifice, we are a free country now--we're proudly living on the red land, under the blue sky, and facing the sun.

    The flag is composed of three elements. The first is a twelve pointed star, the symbol of the sun. Around the white sun is a blue rectangle, symbolic of the sky. The red part refers to the red ground, covered with our ancestors' blood. Because of their struggle and sacrifice, we are a free country now--we're proudly living on the red land, under the blue sky, and facing the sun.
     

    JamesM

    Senior Member
    The text is very clear and very well written, in my opinion, quietdandelion. :) The only slight change I'd suggest would be a colon after "three parts" rather than a semi-colon, but that's just a nitpick. :)

    Great job!
     

    cruxcriticorum

    Senior Member
    United States, English
    Hi quietdandelion.

    "Twelve-pointed" is a compound adjective, so you need the hyphen. A "twelve-pointed star" is a star with twelve points. "Twelve pointed stars" are twelve separate stars, each of which is pointed.
     
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