Welcome sentence

Hi everyone.
I wrote a welcome sentence but I'm not sure which sub sentence should be used.
I've hightlight 2 different texts for your easily notice.

(It's)(This's) a great honor (for us to have your present here)(for your present).
May we take this opportunity to welcome all Adidas country managers (15 countries ....... this number of country part don't need to be translated)
We (are preparing)(will serve you) our best hospitality and smart performance whaile you're staying with us.
We expect you to have much sactisfaction for this trip.

Best regards,
Company's team
 
  • elroy

    Imperfect Mod
    US English/Palestinian Arabic bilingual
    My comments:
    (It's :tick: )(This's) (It's always "it's" when you later explain what it refers to; also, "this's" doesn't exist) a great honor (for us to have your present here)(for your present). (Neither of these is correct. Suggestion: "to have you with us this evening./this afternoon.)
    May we take this opportunity to welcome all Adidas country managers (15 countries ....... this number of country part don't need to be translated)
    We (are preparing)(will serve you) our best hospitality and smart performance whaile you're staying with us. (This sentence sounds odd in general. Suggestion: We hope to be hospitable to you during your stay.)
    We expect you to have much sactisfaction for this trip. (Not sure what you mean here. "We hope you enjoy your stay"?)
     

    --Monty---

    Member
    English, England.
    Yep, I would change this to:

    May we take this oppurtunity to welcome all Adidas country managers to Bangkok. It's an honour to have you staying with us. We hope you will find us hospitable, so if there's anything we can help with please ask. Thank you, and enjoy your stay.

    That assumes it's spoken. If it's written I would get rid of "Thank you, and"
     

    AngelEyes

    Senior Member
    English - United States
    Hi everyone.
    I wrote a welcome sentence but I'm not sure which sub sentence should be used.
    I've hightlight 2 different texts for your easily notice.



    Try this:

    It's a great honor to have you all here today.
    May we take this opportunity to welcome all Adidas country managers (15 countries ....... this number of country part don't need to be translated)
    We're looking forward to serving you and we hope you enjoy your stay with us. We've worked hard to make your visit here enjoyable and rewarding. It's our pleasure to serve you and to present our excellent product performance for your consideration.

    So, relax and let's begin.


    Best regards,
    Company's team
    You might try this, or maybe it will at least spin-off additional thoughts in your own mind.

    Hope it helps!


    AngelEyes
     
    Hi All

    Firstly, Thank you very much for all your help Elroy Monty Angle eyes.
    Please let me tell you about the situation

    The Adidas country managers (15 countries) are coming 1st time at our factory ... so I have to write big notice to welcome them at front gate :)

    I'm sure it will be good because of all your help.

    Platino
     

    . 1

    Banned
    Australian Australia
    We are honored to take this opportunity to welcome Adidas managers from 15 countries.
    Please enjoy our hospitality while you visit us. If you require anything ask(insert name or title).
    We hope you enjoy the conference.

    If you gave a little detail of what the trip is about I could personalise the statement.

    .,,
     

    . 1

    Banned
    Australian Australia
    What sort of factory?
    Why are they coming?
    What is the most important thing about the factory?

    You could use the sign to say something more than just g'day.

    .,,
     

    . 1

    Banned
    Australian Australia
    Originally posted by Platino
    "Our factory is Garment factory. They're coming to see and inspect our factory. They will also see our presentaion say how improved of our factory from last year. They will come to follow special project that we did with them."
    In that case you could personalise the sign slightly by referring the the previous visit and indicate that that visit was taken seriously. This sign is an opportunity right at the start to tell these people that you value their effort. People often respond very positively to small personal acknowledgements and redouble their effort as a result.

    I suspect that others will improve on this effort but may I suggest;

    We are honored to take this opportunity to welcome the return of Adidas managers from 15 countries.
    Please enjoy our hospitality and if you require anything ask(insert name or title).
    We hope you enjoy the presentation detailing the implimentation of the improvements inspired by your previous visit.

    .,,
     
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