What's the etiquette? - thank you and you're welcome.

Discussion in 'Comments and Suggestions' started by Sr Salchicha, Apr 21, 2008.

  1. Sr Salchicha Senior Member

    Buenos Aires
    New Zealand, English
    Lets say you answer a post then the postee replies "thank you for your help" for example. Does etiquette say that one should reply "You're welcome" or the like??
  2. Rayines

    Rayines Senior Member

    Buenos Aires
    Hello Sr. Salchicha: Actually etiquette isn't ruled here, but good manners. Of course, commonly people give thanks when they receive an answer, but you won't see a lot of "You're welcome", although some people feel like saying it, and it's also "welcome".
  3. Angel.Aura

    Angel.Aura del Mod, solo L'aura

    Roma, Italia
    Well, there is a rule here that suggests to...
  4. Grop

    Grop Senior Member

    I think it would be a bit silly to post a new message just to say "you're welcome" in every thread where you have been thanked. That would make many more messages (especially if several foreros have been thanked in one thread) which may not be a good thing for WR's database.

    I think you should only post "you're welcome" if you have something else to say, or (perhaps) edit your existing posts.

    Note, of course, private messages may be used for this purpose.

    Edit: Note my post only deals with "you're welcome". I think it does not matter as much as "please" and "thank you". Plus, in many WR threads, one person thanks several (that's only one post). It doesn't cause the same charge as if several persons said "you're welcome" to one person.
  5. Vanda

    Vanda Moderesa de Beagá

    Belo Horizonte, BRASIL
    Português/ Brasil
    Ditto. We have discussed it somewhere else, I can't remember the name of the thread, though.
  6. Outsider Senior Member

    Portuguese (Portugal)
  7. fenixpollo

    fenixpollo moderator

    American English
    You make some good points, Grop.
    However, I don't think the server is going to crash because people are thanking each other. I also have not seen a problem with gratuitous thanking in a thread. In fact, the opposite problem is much, much more common. :(

    My rationale for thanking and replying with a simple "you're welcome" is not a based on a forum rule, but a core value of the forum:
    This place is all about voluntary collaboration, service to others, helpfulness, collegiality and friendliness. It can only continue to be that way if we continue to say "please" and "thank you".

    If a person doesn't like saying "please" and "thank you" in public, I agree that Private Messages are appropriate. :)
  8. ireney

    ireney Modistra

    Greek Greece Mod of Greek, CC and CD
    Just as long as we don't get into a "thank you" - "you are welcome" - "don't mention it, I was only too glad to help" - "no I insist, you helped me understand something bothering me for ages" - "thank you for your kind words it really was nothing" - "thank you for thanking me but I mean it" kind of endless posting. :D
    While in real life some cultures (Greek one included) go for protracted back and forth in the thanking someone business, it just wouldn't work on this forums for the added reason that it will sort of "bump" the thread into one of the premium seats in the first page of the equivalent forum where it is best to have questions still not answered (or fully answered) :)
  9. TrentinaNE

    TrentinaNE Senior Member

    English (American)
    In my opinion, posting simply to say "You're welcome" is absolutely not needed, and actually a bit of an inconvenience to other members. If I click on a subscribed-thread-with-new-message just to see someone say thanks, I think "Oh, that was nice!" If two hours later, I click on the same subscribed-thread-with-new-message just to see you're welcome, I'm slightly annoyed. ;)

  10. giovannino

    giovannino Senior Member

    Naples, Italy
    Italian, Neapolitan
    I have mixed feelings about this. While I agree with fenixpollo:

    I also feel that ireney and Trentina make some good points:

    This "protracted back and forth in the thanking someone business", as ireney calls it, is as common in Italian as in Greek culture. It's an ingrained habit I myself try to keep under control for the very reasons mentioned by ireney and Trentina.
    I think limiting ourselves to "thank you" and dispensing with posts saying just "you're welcome" is a good compromise. Sometimes the initial poster thanks everyone who replied. Just imagine how crowded the thread would become if each of us replied with individual "you're welcome" posts!:)
  11. cubaMania Senior Member

    I agree. I think of this like gift-giving. If you receive a wedding gift you must send a thank-you note, but rarely would you respond to a thank-you note with a you're-welcome note. The thank-you note lets the giver know that you did receive the item, appreciate it, find it beautiful or useful, etc. In the forums, the thank you lets the contributor and other readers know that you have received the information, appreciate it, find it useful, that it resolved your question, etc. I don't mind an occasional "you're welcome" but if every "thank you" drew a "you're welcome" it would start to get annoying because of the unnecessary thread-bumping.
  12. timpeac

    timpeac Senior Member

    English (England)
    I think that "thank you" once from the originator is fine (no need to keep coming back to say it if people subsequently post, we know you're grateful) but "you're welcome" is....not welcome:). One question may get several responses - is every one of them going to post a "you're welcome"? We wouldn't be able to see the actual thread any more. I understand that in everyday life it is normal and polite to reply to a "thank you" with a "you're welcome" or similar, but in threads it seems to me totally counter-productive.

    Edit - that's in the context of simply posting to say those things - if you're coming back with more relevant information to the thread question I see no problem with an aside of "you're welcome" or other social stroking.
  13. danielfranco

    danielfranco Senior Member

    I would have the "thank you/you're welcome" part skipped altogether, if possible. I mean, personally, I don't mind, and I don't think people are rude if they don't thank me for participating in their thread. If they want to use my suggestion, that's good enough.
    But I do feel obliged to say "you're welcome" to the "thank you's".
    So, like I said, let's skip the whole thing.

  14. Etcetera

    Etcetera Senior Member

    St Petersburg, Russia
    Russian, Russia (St Petersburg)
    You're welcome!:p

    I almost always say "Thank you" (with the exception of one or two threads, perhaps - that was because posting my question and reading one or two answers I disappeared from the Net for some time, and so I seemed to me quite unappropriate to bump an old thread up - especially when there still were these two replies).

    And yes, I do feel obliged to say "You're welcome" in response to a "Thank you" - especially when my reply to the original question was among the last two or three replies in the thread.
  15. TrentinaNE

    TrentinaNE Senior Member

    English (American)
    This thread is giving you explicit permission not to feel obligated. ;) And an express wish by many of us that those who continue to feel such obligation exercise it by PM. :D

    Please, thank you, you're welcome, etc. :p

  16. jsharm

    jsharm Senior Member

    English - Australia
    Hi, I have a background in English language teaching, and have been posting answers to people's questions in the English Only forum. I have to say I do feel a bit disappointed that most times I'm not thanked by the person who initiated the thread, even when I'm the only one who's answered their question. I was wondering whether it would be appropriate to include a standard note at the bottom of my posts, something like "if this has been helpful to you, a thank you would be appreciated. If it didn't answer your question, that would also be useful to know".

    Thanks for any thoughts.
  17. siares

    siares Senior Member

    In my opinion it is a friendly message. Signatures are varied and I wouldn´t feel pressured or anything if I read this one under your post in my thread.
  18. Peterdg

    Peterdg Senior Member

    Dutch - Belgium
    I can understand your reaction. Unfortunately some people think we are here to serve them. But don't let that discourage you. I'm active here for several years now and the positive reactions you sometimes get by far outweigh the ill-behaved crowd.
    In my opinion, you can put that in your signature (or at the end of your post) without any problem.
  19. jsharm

    jsharm Senior Member

    English - Australia
    Thanks for those responses, and of course many members here have been exemplary over long periods in answering vast numbers of questions, without necessarily needing to be thanked.

    Probably a bit soon for me to be thinking about putting notes in my posts. If I ever do, I'll keep it to something simple in my signature line, such as "your feedback would be most welcome". Unless a moderator advises otherwise. - Cheers, J

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