when gather/by gathering

Discussion in 'English Only' started by piraña utria, Oct 1, 2008.

  1. piraña utria

    piraña utria Senior Member

    Cartagena de Indias.
    Spanish - Colombian with Caribbean nuanc
    Good morning:

    This is an abstract or “my free version” of part of pollination process that I’ve just made trying to show it more comprehensible to my son (9-year-old) than his textbook’s version.

    I’d really appreciate if someone would check it out, particularly the usage of the highlighted verb:

    Insects such as bees and butterflies when gather (by gathering) nectar obtained from the flowers also help to pollination process because usually lot of pollen sticks to their bodies and is carried by chance from stamen to pistil

    Are both “when gather” and “by gathering” right options within this context?

    Thanks in advance for your answers and your correction are welcome either.
     
  2. Pidginboy Senior Member

    India-Local dialect
    Both are correct. But,there are problems with the other parts of the text.
     
  3. piraña utria

    piraña utria Senior Member

    Cartagena de Indias.
    Spanish - Colombian with Caribbean nuanc
    Hi Pidginboy:

    Thanks for your corrections.

    Regards,
     
  4. panjandrum

    panjandrum Occasional Moderator

    Belfast, Ireland
    English-Ireland (top end)
    When gather is not correct, grammatically.
    By gathering is not correct botanically. It is not the gathering of nectar that helps the pollination process, it is the incidental transfer of pollen.
    So you need to say when gathering

    ... also help to the pollination process because usually a lot of pollen sticks ...
     
  5. Elwintee Senior Member

    London England
    England English
    You have had other helpful answers, but I would point out that a sentence of more than 30 words is too long for most adults, let alone a 9 year-old. I suggest you split it into about three separate sentences (I believe the average length of an English sentence is 9 words).
     
  6. piraña utria

    piraña utria Senior Member

    Cartagena de Indias.
    Spanish - Colombian with Caribbean nuanc
    Thanks again, Panj and Elwintee. Your guidance is enormously helpful for my studies.

    Regards,
     

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