Merhaba, benim parçadan çıkarım yaptığım kadarıyla elinde pipetiyle bardağından bir şeyler içiyor. Ayrıca pipetiyle bardağındaki içeceği karıştırarak bir girdap oluşturmuş. Düşüncelerinden gerçek dünyaya dönüş yapınca da elinde tuttuğu pipetle oluşturduğu girdaba doğru 'Kötüyüm.', sonra da 'Bir süreliğine aklımdan çıkmıştı ama halledeceğim.' demiş.
I think "disillusion" is misused here. It's not his disillusion that was shattered, but his illusion, leaving him disillusioned. We are disillusioned when we find that something we have (strongly) believed to be the truth is in fact not the truth, or at least may not be the truth. It's usually a very troubling experience emotionally. "Clutching at straws" is a metaphor for hanging on to something flimsy or weak for dear life, out of desperation, panic, or tenacity. It refers to straw as a material ("saman"), which is considered weak, not to drinking straws. Imagine a drowning man hanging on to some straw to avoid drowning. In this case, the man coped with the disillusionment he was experiencing — which “remov[ed] the linch-pin that was keeping his whole world in place” — by telling himself that he was bad, a flimsy thing to hold on to.
"Illusory disillusion" does not make a lot of sense. "Disillusion" is the feeling of disenchantment when you find out something is not what you thought it was and "illusory" means "not real". So, "illusory disillusion" is an imagined feeling of disenchantment.
As I said, they meant "illusion," not "disillusion." They probably added "illusory" to express the idea of "illusion"! If they had correctly used "illusion," they wouldn't have needed "illusory" ("illusory illusion" is either redundant or means the opposite of "illusion," i.e. "reality," if you understand "illusory" as a negator of "illusion"). I suspect they got their wires crossed because they were simultaneously thinking of "an illusion shattering" and "getting disillusioned" (two ways of saying the same thing), and they ended up conflating "disillusion" with "shattered," thereby producing a nonsensical phrase.