'While ...ing' at the beginning of the sentence

meijin

Senior Member
Japanese
Hi, please take a look at the following sentences I've just made up:

1. Although the product was rated low among females, it performed well among the opposite gender.
2. Despite being rated low among females, the product performed well among the opposite gender.
3. While being rated low among females, the product performed well among the opposite gender.

I believe 1 and 2 are both correct, but 2 is probably slightly different in meaning, suggesting that females have a better ability or skill to rate products.

I'm not sure about 3. Is it the same as 1 in meaning or is the use of "while ...ing" at the beginning of the sentence incorrect?

Thanks
 
  • Barque

    Senior Member
    Tamil
    but 2 is probably slightly different in meaning, suggesting that females have a better ability or skill to rate products.
    It doesn't suggest that to me. I'd understand 1 and 2 as meaning the same thing.

    I'm not sure about 3. Is it the same as 1 in meaning
    Sentence 3 could also mean "During the time that it was rated low among females, it performed well among males". I'm not sure that's what you want to say.

    I believe 1 and 2 are both correct,
    I'm not sure about 3.
    The three sentences don't sound very natural to me. The use of plain "females", and "opposite gender" for instance. Why not just women and men? Or "female users"?

    Also, I wouldn't use "performed well among". I suppose you mean "popular with" or "rated well by" but it could be misunderstood as meaning "working more effectively for men".

    The product was given a low rating by female users but was better received by males/but was popular with males.
     

    Franco-filly

    Senior Member
    English - Southern England
    While being works for me. However I am unsure about what is being rated. I suggest something like "While being rated low by females the product's performance was rated high/higher/as being good by the men.
     

    Glenfarclas

    Senior Member
    English (American)
    The use of plain "females", and "opposite gender" for instance. Why not just women and men? Or "female users"?

    Also, I wouldn't use "performed well among". I suppose you mean "popular with" or "rated well by" but it could be misunderstood as meaning "working more effectively for men".
    Whether those things are natural or awkward depends entirely on factors like (1) what is the product and how it is used, (2) the type of document in which you would write this, and (3) the preceding language.
     

    Barque

    Senior Member
    Tamil
    You're right of course. But as the OP said, he made those sentences up. In this context, there's no context and I took them at face value.
     

    meijin

    Senior Member
    Japanese
    Thank you all very much for the replies. I apologize if the sentences lacked context. I guess I only wanted to know if the use of "While being" at the beginning of the sentence was correct or not, but obviously I made unnecessary comments, which complicated matters.

    The reason why I used words such as perform, rate and males/females/gender is that I'm in the market research industry as a translator translating survey reports etc. from Japanese into English (I'm actually doing it right now). These reports are written by a market research firm for their client companies, who need to know how well their products (cosmetics, beverages, etc.), advertisements, etc. perform among survey respondents (=consumers). There are indicators such as overall liking, product appeal, purchase intention, taste intensity etc. etc. and performing well on these indicators (i.e. receiving good scores) means that it is a very good product.

    So, if the sentences still sound awkward or unnatural with this background, please feel free to point it out.
    The "While being..." part seems to be fine according to the replies from Barque and Franco. It just could also mean "During..." as Barque pointed out.
    Also, I'm glad to learn that 1 and 2 mean the same.

    Again, thank you all very much.
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top