while offshore the equally rare Hector's Dolphin

LQZ

Senior Member
Mandarin
Walk the beaches of the Catlins and you’ll find paua shells and wildlife. The rare Hooker’s Sea Lion lives here, while offshore the equally rare Hector’s Dolphin cavorts in the waves.---taken from a New Zealand English speaker
Dear all,

To my mind, the bolded part should be while the equally rare offshore Hector's Dolphin. As you see, I changed the order of words, which makes sense to me. Am I right? Thanks.


LQZ
 
  • Cagey

    post mod (English Only / Latin)
    English - US
    I wonder why you want to change it.

    Offshore is an adverb here, it tells where the dolphin is cavorting. If you move it as you have, it becomes an adjective, telling us what kind of dolphin it is. I don't think that an offshore Hector's Dolphin exists, as a type.
     

    LQZ

    Senior Member
    Mandarin
    I wonder why you want to change it.

    Offshore is an adverb here, it tells where the dolphin is cavorting. If you move it as you have, it becomes an adjective, telling us what kind of dolphin it is. I don't think that an offshore Hector's Dolphin exists, as a type.
    Thank you, Cagey. :eek:

    How about while the equally rare Hector’s Dolphin cavorts offshore in the waves ? Does this reworded one make sense to you? :)
     

    Cagey

    post mod (English Only / Latin)
    English - US
    Yes, it does. In general, an adverb can be either after the verb it modifies, or in front of the clause or sentence.
     

    AVim

    Senior Member
    Chinese
    How about while the equally rare Hector’s Dolphin cavorts offshore in the waves ? Does this reworded one make sense to you? :)
    No, I think that will change the feelings. You know, the author expects a focus moving, by assuming that we are now on beaches and we see some seals here (on shore), then we move our focus to the sea (off shore) and find those dolphins.

    So I would rather add a comma after the "offshore", saying "... here, while offshore, the equally rare Hector’s Dolphin cavorts in the waves." than change its position. :)
     
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