It is not correct with that punctuation as you now have two complete sentences. You can't just add another subject and verb to a sentence that already has a subject and verb.But the problem is if I say "I'm feeling rather tired", he said, his eyes were glazing" or "I was in pain, my body is itching all over", is it correct?
Technically, his eyes glazing is an "absolute construction". Absolute clauses are "non-finite" - that is, they lack a main verb.Sometimes I find that people omit verb-to be
"I'm feeling rather tired", he said, his eyes glazing"
why don't they say "his eyes are glazing"?