...,with more people informed about .....

ritter66

Senior Member
Czech
Hi all :)

- Along with all that has been mentioned above, with more people informed about the advantages of taking exercise, the faster the information will be spread among other people.

In my opinion, there is something missing in "with more people informed". Is the sentence (especially the underlined part) grammatically correct?

Thank you very much:thumbsup:
 
  • se16teddy

    Senior Member
    English - England
    It is not a great sentence. I would have expected the more people are informed... , the faster ... Instead, the writer has used the with+noun phrase form, indicating an attendant circumstance.

    But the word more indicates clearly enough the development to which the faster correlates, so I think the sentence is comprehensible.
     
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    Barque

    Senior Member
    Tamil
    Please give us your source and, if possible, a couple of sentences from before this.
    In my opinion, there is something missing in "with more people informed".
    No. I suppose you could say that there's been an ellipse of "being" before "informed" but that's a very common thing.
    Is the sentence (especially the underlined part) grammatically correct?
    Yes, though it isn't particularly well-worded.
     

    lingobingo

    Senior Member
    English - England
    I agree it's a badly written sentence, and that teddy's version is how it would normally be written.

    I also agree that knowing what was "mentioned above" would have been a great help!
     

    ritter66

    Senior Member
    Czech
    Thank you, here is what was mentioned before :)

    (this comes from my preparation for writing an essay about informing poepole about their health - also, I was supposed to use as many linkers as possible which might have influenced the structure )

    Despite the decreasing interest in exercising, it is governments´ duty to restore people´s enthusiasm for taking more care of their health. Therefore, they should be presented with the bright sides first.
    However, the possible impact of downsides is calling for more attention. Without highlighting the possible consequences of not taking care of your body the will of people to change their habits decreases.
    Also, it is quite important to show them that exercising can be fun. It would be a pity to exclude this part from the list as we are all likely to do things we enjoy. Along with all that has been mentioned above, with more people informed about the advantages of taking exercise, the faster the information will be spread among other people.


    What I was after:

    1)

    Along with all that has been mentioned above, with more people informed about the advantages of taking exercise, the faster the information will be spread among other people.

    2)

    Along with all that has been mentioned above, with more people being informed about the advantages of taking exercise, the faster the information will be spread among other people.

    I thought it was necessary to use "being" in this structure with "with". (if I wanted to be grammatically 100% correct) :warning::(
     

    se16teddy

    Senior Member
    English - England
    The problem you are concerned about is a vanishingly insignificant matter of stylistic perfection compared to this one: when you use the word the not as a definite article but to indicate a correlation, as here, you need two thes introducing two phrases.
     
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    lingobingo

    Senior Member
    English - England
    Thank you, ritter66, for providing the extra text. It makes some clear points, but I would advise you to look again at your use of the word "despite", which doesn't appear to make sense (unless instead of "decreasing" you meant "increasing"?).

    The construction of the final line doesn't work well, because at the moment there's no grammatical justification for inverting the final clause. It would be better either to put those two related clauses into a standard if/then pattern, such as:

    …… if more people are informed about the advantages of taking exercise, [then] the information will spread faster​

    or to follow the established the more/the more pattern:

    The greater the number of people who appreciate the benefits of exercise, the faster the message will spread
    The better informed people are, the faster the message spreads
     
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