With the intention of raising our awareness of environmental protection,

With the intention of raising our awareness of environmental protection, this meaningful extracurricular activity can also enhance our creative thinking and social competence.
Does it correct? Could you help me make it nature?

Thanks in advance!
 
  • Thomas Tompion

    Senior Member
    English - England
    Hi Noname, For what it's worth I think it all needs much more severe pruning to make it more precise.

    As well as raising our sensitivity to environmental issues, this extracurricular activity may enhance our creative thinking and social competence.

    I think this is a bit less wordy, but I'm not happy about 'enhance our creative thinking'. What precisely do you mean by the expression?
     

    winklepicker

    Senior Member
    English (UK)
    Does it correct? Could you help me make it nature?
    Yes, noname, I can. Take out all the long words, and simplify the structure as much as possible. You have confused yourself, and the sentence doesn't make sense as it stands. At a guess, you might mean:

    As well as raising awareness of environmental issues, this activity can stimulate creative thinking and develop social skills.
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top