You know, keep in touch and write me whenever you feel like doing it.

russian80

Senior Member
Russian
What would be an very informal, casual actually, shorter colloquial version of "You know, keep in touch and drop me a line whenever you feel like doing it" ?
 
  • Cagey

    post mod (English Only / Latin)
    English - US
    Hello, russian80.

    Please ask a specific question about the particular part you are worried about. We don't check work over for mistakes or do rewrites.

    Cagey,
    moderator
     

    russian80

    Senior Member
    Russian
    I am not asking to rewrite it but to provide a short casual, colloquial and idiomatic equivalent.
     

    russian80

    Senior Member
    Russian
    What specific part of the sentence concerns you? If you can tell us that, we can help.
    "You know" sounds a bit too trite. I need something somewhat oafish that a 8-year-old, unsophisticated child feeling awkward would use to start a sentence with a touch of delicate yet uncouth shyness.
    Then there is "whenever you feel like doing it" which sounds too formal, unemotional and likely to be used by a rather educated adult, not a total boor.
     

    Copyright

    Senior Member
    American English
    Thank you for the very specific information – if you hadn't told us, we would never have guessed.

    "You know" is used by everyone, especially eight-year-olds. For the rest, just shorten it. One thought: "You know, stay in touch if you feel like it."

    If you don't like "You know," you can use "Well."
     

    dojibear

    Senior Member
    English (US - northeast)
    An oafish 8-year-old might start with "Hey", and he would probably not use a long sentence. He might say "Hey, keep in touch, OK?"
     

    russian80

    Senior Member
    Russian
    An oafish 8-year-old might start with "Hey", and he would probably not use a long sentence. He might say "Hey, keep in touch, OK?"
    Yes, this is close to what I'd like to have, however, "Hey" sounds a bit too assertive. I need something coy.
     

    dojibear

    Senior Member
    English (US - northeast)
    In AE, I don't think you are allowed to call a boy "coy" (even if the definition seems to fit). He'll get mad, his parents will get mad, everyone will get mad. I'm pretty darn mad already!:eek: It's a term used for females. Perhaps you mean "shy"?

    Is the phrase you are constructing supposed to be something an 8-year-old speaks, or writes in an email, or text-messages?
     

    velisarius

    Senior Member
    British English (Sussex)
    The oafish eight-year old that still dwells within me doesn't feel happy about beginning with "you know..." "Look..." might do the job.

    Would this be a British 8-year-old or an American one...or should it sound neutral? A girl or a boy? Is this speech or an email?
     

    pickarooney

    Senior Member
    English (Ireland)
    I would read that sentence as completely passive-aggressive :)

    The concept of 8 year olds keeping in touch just seems a bit alien to me, especially if it involves letters or phone calls.
     

    dojibear

    Senior Member
    English (US - northeast)
    I need something somewhat oafish that a 8-year-old, unsophisticated child feeling awkward would use to start a sentence with a touch of delicate yet uncouth shyness.

    Sorry, but I think you are asking much too much from a word. I do not believe there is any English word or phrase which conveys all of these:

    somewhat oafish,
    unsophisticated,
    childish,
    delicate,
    uncouth,
    shy
     

    russian80

    Senior Member
    Russian
    "Look..." might do the job.
    Would this be a British 8-year-old or an American one...or should it sound neutral? A girl or a boy? Is this speech or an email?
    "Look" or "Umm" are used in a much wider variety of contexts and do not have a specific emotional connotation in spoken English that I am looking for.
    It doesn't matter if it is AE or BE; a soft-spoken (kind of a bumpkin who is being emotional) boy or girl should be likely to use it. So there is touch of tentativeness here.
     
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